Sister!

A while ago I made a doll of myself (left). Then I made one of my sister Elise (right). I never photographed the latter...until now!

I needlefelted and embroidered the details, and I put pipe cleaners in the arms and legs because pose-ibility makes a softie 38 percent more fun.
Here is Doll Elise on a stack of books, though some might say this pose is misleading. While Real Elise does enjoy reading, at the moment she's more likely to be surrounded by scholarly articles or books pertaining to her thesis research than, say, anything by Nietzsche or Shakespeare.
This is Elise Doll and Me Doll playing in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, as represented by a Harry Potter pop-up book. You might be wondering why I own a Harry Potter pop-up book. If so, do you know me? Why are you even reading this? STUPEFY!

An Apron & a Drink Recipe

This is me standing in the kitchen wearing the apron I made out of a thrift store skirt, just for anyone who doubted it was actually a human-sized, well-fitted apron. It is pictured here along with a talented party hostess holding a delicious beverage I will now describe how to create yourself.


Milky Joe's Hard Thai Tea!
ingredients:

-Bigelow Constant Comment Teabags

-Firefly Sweet Tea flavored Vodka
-Sugar

-Can of coconut milk

-Tangerine slices (for garnish)

Directions:
1. Brew some Constant Comment tea and sweeten with sugar to your liking. Chill it.
2. In a highball glass, pour a generous shot of Firefly Sweet Tea vodka. Fill with ice.
3. Pour the sweetened Constant Comment until glass is about 75 percent full.
4. Top with coconut milk.
5. Stir with straw and garnish with tangerine slice.

Constant Comments:
I made this cocktail for a Pan-Asian themed dinner party as a play on Thai tea. It has a nice spicy tea flavor, with subtly citrus undertones, almost like a Thai version of a White Russian, except less filling and more refreshing. I used "lite" coconut milk, which appeared a little grainy, but no one seemed to mind. Lastly, I initially brewed the Constant Comment super strong, which made the drink taste too tea-ish, so I watered it down to perfection and brewed later batches at normal strength.

Enjoy!

The Faux Vintage Apron to Infinity

Our kitchen has recently become a space rocket on a mission to uncharted culinary galaxies. From our adventures with the Fry Daddy to our attempt to recreate our favorite deli soup, we're becoming seasoned gourmonauts one recipe tweak at a time. These explorations require specialized tools and equipment, and as we delve yet further into the cosmic kitchen abyss, we must don the heavy armor necessary for the possible dangers that lie ahead.

While the vintage apron is a common and fashionable way to shield oneself from the powdery, drippy and often sticky elements of cookery, I needed something a bit sturdier for an upcoming Pan-Asian Dinner Party to End All Pan-Asian Dinner Parties. My mission was clear.
I picked up this pleated red and white striped skirt at a thrift store for about $5. I love the details and cutouts in the embroidered flowers along the edge and I think the style is befitting of a kitschy kitchen.

Next I adjusted the white balance on my camera and cut out a triangular apron shape from the skirt, along with two long skinny pieces for straps and one small bunch of flowers to adorn a pocket. Then I ironed everything. For the pocket, I cut a pocket shape out of a holey, old pair of red running shorts. I sewed back the edges on the apron and pocket. I sewed up the straps and turned them inside out.
Next I sewed back the top edge of the apron triangle and sewed on the straps, making sure they were stitched securely multiple times over. I hand sewed the pocket to the apron so that I could be sure to follow the jankity stitch along its misshapen edge perfectly. I hot glued the flower cutout to the pocket top because I didn't want extra stitches obscuring the embroidery detail.

My craftsmanship style is of the it's-supposed-to-look-like-that school of thought, and this faux vintage apron embodies that perfectly. With this creative, one-of-a-kind, bulletproof apron, I'm ready to tackle any kitchen mission.

Stay tuned for a picture of me wearing it while prepping for our highly anticipated Pan-Asian Dinner Party!

Janette

I started reading a book about why different societies over the last 13,000 years have either collapsed or been conquered or, conversely, have flourished and conquered others. It starts out by discussing the ancient Polynesians, who colonized New Zealand and killed off many of the large flightless birds native to the island.
A lot of people think kiwis are extinct. They're not. You're thinking of the dodo.
However, they are endangered, but much of their habitat in New Zealand is in protected forests and national parks.
The Maori people have ceased the hunting of kiwi, and now consider themselves the guardians of these shy, nocturnal birds.
This is Janette.

Better Photo of Christmas Tree Alien!

Surprise! I DO give a crap! I know you were silently begging for it, so here it is: A better photo of Christmas Tree Alien! For those of you who may be thinking, "This isn't a very good picture either," allow me to offer a retort: I only said I might post a better picture of Christmas Tree Alien. Lower your expectations or you're dooming yourself to a life peppered liberally with disappointment!

Christmas Tree Alien is a leftover breed of semi-immortal aliens that landed on Earth many thousands of years ago. He's part gen (ultraterrestrial, core-dwelling, wish-granting beings that become invisible and then speak to chosen ones like myself, guiding them to fulfill their destiny in the universe) and part something else. His ancestors helped organize the ancient arrangements of massive structures that form the magnetic vortex through which his and other kinds landed here on Earth. He is charged with managing those arrangements so that one day his kind may return, and this he does from the clandestine locale of our Christmas tree, Olivia.

And I gotta say he's doing a really great job.

Handmade Holiday Continued!

Fuck it. I love Christmas this year. I spent my Sunday crafting silly ornaments and making holiday confections while listening to a playlist of festive holiday music with my boo, and it was SO AWESOME.

Curling up on the couch with a felting needle, watching Labyrinth. Wrapping gifts I know the recipient will love and laugh about and think about the years of friendship attached to it. Meow-singing along to carols I don't know the words to. Powdered sugar everywhere. Giggling. Christmas rules. You just have to kind of make it your own.

And here I thought the first post-Boardwalk Empire Sunday would be a massive disappointment.

These are the easiest holiday treat to make in large quantities and they offer a satisfying combination of salty and sweet. For these reasons I will now share with you the instructions for preparing them.

First you need a bag of small pretzels, red and green M&Ms, wax paper, and chocolate and/or white chocolate flavored bark. It has to be the chocolate BARK, so look carefully. Melt a few squares of bark in a glass cup or bowl in a microwave for increments of 15-30 seconds, but don't completely melt it, because it helps to have a little malleability to it. Spread pretzels on wax paper and spoon a small dollop of melty bark on each one. Stick an M&M on each and let cool.

Make pretty bags by wrapping one end of a small box in shiny wrapping paper. Slip the box out of the unwrapped end. Crease the sides of the "bag" and reinforce the seams with tape. Fill bag with chocolate pretzel treats, adorn with ribbon and deliver to friends. Feast on smiles.

I just love these little owls and each one has a different character to me. This one is kind of a spunky, little baby owl. He hasn't really learned the ropes yet, but the wiser ones I made previously will help him out. Hopefully there are many more owls to come because my friends seem to like them a lot.
To top our mini tannenbaum, Tobi wanted a starfish. I love Tobi's felty requests. Sometimes I unload my growing collection of craft supplies and I just stare at the rolling mountains of felt, misshapen balls of brightly hued raw wool, and tangled spools of string and yarn and become immobilized by the very lack of creative boundaries. Then Tobi swoops down on his frazzled heap of girlfriend and gives me a little project to tackle, and suddenly I have a vision, direction and a constant source of encouragement. Thanks, Tob.
Now stick with me here, people. My boy also wanted a little a Christmas tree alien, and like I said, I feel no less than compelled to oblige all of his Christmas crafty desires. Let's critique this photograph: It's too dark and a little blurry. Maybe one day I'll give a crap and post a better one.
Here she is: Olivia. Some of the gifts beneath her are even real.

Handmade Holiday

It's been a while, followers. I've spent my blog hiatus thinking about how to take better pictures of my creations with my new camera (which is very mysterious to me), wondering whether to start completely over with my blog or get a URL, and moving. But the holidays have catapulted me into a crafty wonderland, so I could neglect my little blog no longer.

In the past, I’ve found the holidays abhorrent and completely full of shit. Red paired with green is a visual monstrosity, driving within a 30-mile radius of the mall becomes a rage-inducing disaster and don't even get me started on the music.

But since last year, I changed my mind. Not about red and green or my fourth quarter shopping center boycott, but about celebrating the Christmas season with unbridled zeal. See, the holidays cry out for crafting—be it in DIY décor, handmade gifts or creativity in the kitchen—and boy, do I love crafting.

Here are two cute owl ornaments I sewed and felted for our new tree, which we call Olivia.

This one is an onion ornament. The Onion show commercial kept coming on, and for some reason, that seemed like a good idea for an ornament. I'm not sure about this one. Maybe I'll make some other veggie ornaments to go with it.

Happy Holiday Crafting!