This dashing fellow is Kitty Puppet Prototype. He is pictured here with a banana to illustrate his range of motion and gripping/holding abilities. Most people assume he's a pirate because he has an eye patch. If you saw an old man on the street with an eye patch, would you assume he was a pirate? I think not. Kitty Puppet Prototype is no different. He just only has one eye.

Lunch Hour

These are some lunches I've made. I leave the office in the middle of the day and go to my empty house. Once there, I prepare what's known as a "Meal for One." This one included mixed rotini tossed with olive oil, steamed broccoli and snap peas, fake chicken and parmesan. I had a cupcake for dessert.

I became very inspired by sandwiches the week this masterpiece was created. I call it "Princess Emily" because it is jam packed with scrumptious and surprising ingredients.

And here they all are. Princess Emily: deconstructed.

This is a beautiful "Frankenmeal," a meal made from random leftovers and kitchen odds and ends. I whipped up some scratch pico de gallo with spicy aji paste and threw it on cheesy scrambled eggs, which I set atop a nest of wilted spinach and tortilla chips. Then I added some avocado sun beams. I call it "Sol Huevos," or Sun Eggs.

A Melodramatic High School Freshman Learns the Blanket Stitch

The more softies I make, the more I find myself in need of organizational techniques to help with the explosion of tiny tools and instruments necessary for this craft. How better to keep my pins and needles at the ready than by using them to craft a custom pin cushion!

This design arose from my fascination with internal organs and probably the fact that I've been revisiting seasons one and two of Nip/Tuck while I craft. It is also my first attempt at the blanket stitch. I painstakingly needle-felted the design of the heart, but these pictures lose the delicate shading on the valves.

After putting the final stitch in this overstuffed cushion, I was sure of my roaring success. Then I happily stabbed all my pins in and noticed it's a little...emo. Consider this the cliche tortured poetry of the arts and crafts world.

Bet You Want The Goodies

Here in my underwear drawer are some of my as yet most adored creations. They're soft. They're supple. They come in all manner of shapes and colors. I never tire of creating more. Everyone loves them: tits. These goodies are filled with cotton and lentils, for a beanbaggy-type feel.

I don't mind wearing a brassiere sometimes, but I take issue with anyone having the idea that I must. These tits will never be shackled in satin and lace.

My First Softies

Way back in January I became interested in softie-making after finding a book about it at my boyfriend's house. I acquired some felt and went to work creating these fellows, Julio (left) and Jeffe (right).

Julio and Jeffe are characters from the future. They live in a post-nuclear-apocolypse world and they are scientists charged with seeking out the few survivors in the nearly barren wasteland Earth has become. They bring the survivors back to their salvaged research facility and perform tests on them to find out why these humans and other lifeforms have survived. They are the building blocks for the post-apocolyptic continuation of the human species. Julio is a hopeless romantic, an endlessly idealistic warrior for the power of humanity to prevail peacefully. Jeffe is Julio's chubby best friend, a bastion of logic in the face of the absurdity and chaos that surrounds them.

These jovial gentlemen were created from felt and stuffed with pearl barley before I'd developed much skill with a needle and thread or harnassed any concept of craftsmanly design. I love them all the same.