More Apron

I wanted to make another apron. This time, a full version.

Instead of using a thrift store skirt, I used a thrift store dress. This cat helped me out. Her name is Ollie, Design Consultant at Felt Up Goods, Inc.

First I cut out an apron shape from the front of the dress. I had some navy blue fabric from a bunch of curtains that never got made, so I used that for an accent. I made the straps same as the other apron, except with an extra one for the neck. Additionally, the skirt is very A-line, so I mimicked that shape by making the pockets inverted triangles just for visual interest.
To make the pockets, I had to use forethought and planning, which is a huge step since I'm usually more likely to put the bulk of craftime forethought into what kind of beer I'll be drinking for its duration than how to make a conceptually and technically solid creation.

This time I outdid myself with a delicious Trippel Belgian style beer from North Carolina (Thanks, Sam & Brandon!) and by folding back and ironing the edges of my pockets, along with a strip of the turquoise dress fabric for a little detail. I sewed only the top part, then sewed the edges back while simultaneously sewing them on to the actual apron to avoid double seams on the pockets.
I only pin when I ABSOLUTELY have to. In this case I just put two pins in the top of each pocket while sewing them to the apron fabric to hold them in place and remind me not to accidentally sew them shut, rendering them useless.
I thought I was finished, but then decided it needed a tiny bit of the navy blue to balance the design by pulling the eye back to the top of the apron. I cut out a quick little square and stitched it to the piece of fabric between the breast triangles.

Next weekend, perhaps I'll snap one of a person wearing it.

I Invented Owls

Owls are so in right now. Just look at Etsy. They should call it "Owls & Octopuses-tsy." Well, may I just say that I created these owls at least seven months ago--waaaaaay before owls gained the popularity they enjoy today. I'm not saying people who like owls are just jumping on a bandwagon that I'm driving through the Hip Animal Rainforest Nature Reserve. I'm just pointing out that I basically invented the owl when I birthed the first one in a PBR-induced labor after a dance party at a vegan bar when I was like 20.

These are my owl babies:

This is the little guy. He's kind of understated and a little goofy, but he's really deadpan about it, like a British comedic actor. His head is square-ish and he has rosy cheeks.
Several hours after a meal, an owl will regurgitate undigested bits of rodent bones, teeth, claws, plant matter, fur, insect exoskeletons and whatever else its glandular stomach failed to digest in the form of a compact mouth turd called an owl pellet. Have you dissected an owl pellet? I have. It's both awesome and disgusting. These softies come with biologically correct accessories--handmade pellets.
Owls.

Sister!

A while ago I made a doll of myself (left). Then I made one of my sister Elise (right). I never photographed the latter...until now!

I needlefelted and embroidered the details, and I put pipe cleaners in the arms and legs because pose-ibility makes a softie 38 percent more fun.
Here is Doll Elise on a stack of books, though some might say this pose is misleading. While Real Elise does enjoy reading, at the moment she's more likely to be surrounded by scholarly articles or books pertaining to her thesis research than, say, anything by Nietzsche or Shakespeare.
This is Elise Doll and Me Doll playing in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, as represented by a Harry Potter pop-up book. You might be wondering why I own a Harry Potter pop-up book. If so, do you know me? Why are you even reading this? STUPEFY!

An Apron & a Drink Recipe

This is me standing in the kitchen wearing the apron I made out of a thrift store skirt, just for anyone who doubted it was actually a human-sized, well-fitted apron. It is pictured here along with a talented party hostess holding a delicious beverage I will now describe how to create yourself.


Milky Joe's Hard Thai Tea!
ingredients:

-Bigelow Constant Comment Teabags

-Firefly Sweet Tea flavored Vodka
-Sugar

-Can of coconut milk

-Tangerine slices (for garnish)

Directions:
1. Brew some Constant Comment tea and sweeten with sugar to your liking. Chill it.
2. In a highball glass, pour a generous shot of Firefly Sweet Tea vodka. Fill with ice.
3. Pour the sweetened Constant Comment until glass is about 75 percent full.
4. Top with coconut milk.
5. Stir with straw and garnish with tangerine slice.

Constant Comments:
I made this cocktail for a Pan-Asian themed dinner party as a play on Thai tea. It has a nice spicy tea flavor, with subtly citrus undertones, almost like a Thai version of a White Russian, except less filling and more refreshing. I used "lite" coconut milk, which appeared a little grainy, but no one seemed to mind. Lastly, I initially brewed the Constant Comment super strong, which made the drink taste too tea-ish, so I watered it down to perfection and brewed later batches at normal strength.

Enjoy!

The Faux Vintage Apron to Infinity

Our kitchen has recently become a space rocket on a mission to uncharted culinary galaxies. From our adventures with the Fry Daddy to our attempt to recreate our favorite deli soup, we're becoming seasoned gourmonauts one recipe tweak at a time. These explorations require specialized tools and equipment, and as we delve yet further into the cosmic kitchen abyss, we must don the heavy armor necessary for the possible dangers that lie ahead.

While the vintage apron is a common and fashionable way to shield oneself from the powdery, drippy and often sticky elements of cookery, I needed something a bit sturdier for an upcoming Pan-Asian Dinner Party to End All Pan-Asian Dinner Parties. My mission was clear.
I picked up this pleated red and white striped skirt at a thrift store for about $5. I love the details and cutouts in the embroidered flowers along the edge and I think the style is befitting of a kitschy kitchen.

Next I adjusted the white balance on my camera and cut out a triangular apron shape from the skirt, along with two long skinny pieces for straps and one small bunch of flowers to adorn a pocket. Then I ironed everything. For the pocket, I cut a pocket shape out of a holey, old pair of red running shorts. I sewed back the edges on the apron and pocket. I sewed up the straps and turned them inside out.
Next I sewed back the top edge of the apron triangle and sewed on the straps, making sure they were stitched securely multiple times over. I hand sewed the pocket to the apron so that I could be sure to follow the jankity stitch along its misshapen edge perfectly. I hot glued the flower cutout to the pocket top because I didn't want extra stitches obscuring the embroidery detail.

My craftsmanship style is of the it's-supposed-to-look-like-that school of thought, and this faux vintage apron embodies that perfectly. With this creative, one-of-a-kind, bulletproof apron, I'm ready to tackle any kitchen mission.

Stay tuned for a picture of me wearing it while prepping for our highly anticipated Pan-Asian Dinner Party!

Janette

I started reading a book about why different societies over the last 13,000 years have either collapsed or been conquered or, conversely, have flourished and conquered others. It starts out by discussing the ancient Polynesians, who colonized New Zealand and killed off many of the large flightless birds native to the island.
A lot of people think kiwis are extinct. They're not. You're thinking of the dodo.
However, they are endangered, but much of their habitat in New Zealand is in protected forests and national parks.
The Maori people have ceased the hunting of kiwi, and now consider themselves the guardians of these shy, nocturnal birds.
This is Janette.