Better Photo of Christmas Tree Alien!

Surprise! I DO give a crap! I know you were silently begging for it, so here it is: A better photo of Christmas Tree Alien! For those of you who may be thinking, "This isn't a very good picture either," allow me to offer a retort: I only said I might post a better picture of Christmas Tree Alien. Lower your expectations or you're dooming yourself to a life peppered liberally with disappointment!

Christmas Tree Alien is a leftover breed of semi-immortal aliens that landed on Earth many thousands of years ago. He's part gen (ultraterrestrial, core-dwelling, wish-granting beings that become invisible and then speak to chosen ones like myself, guiding them to fulfill their destiny in the universe) and part something else. His ancestors helped organize the ancient arrangements of massive structures that form the magnetic vortex through which his and other kinds landed here on Earth. He is charged with managing those arrangements so that one day his kind may return, and this he does from the clandestine locale of our Christmas tree, Olivia.

And I gotta say he's doing a really great job.

Handmade Holiday Continued!

Fuck it. I love Christmas this year. I spent my Sunday crafting silly ornaments and making holiday confections while listening to a playlist of festive holiday music with my boo, and it was SO AWESOME.

Curling up on the couch with a felting needle, watching Labyrinth. Wrapping gifts I know the recipient will love and laugh about and think about the years of friendship attached to it. Meow-singing along to carols I don't know the words to. Powdered sugar everywhere. Giggling. Christmas rules. You just have to kind of make it your own.

And here I thought the first post-Boardwalk Empire Sunday would be a massive disappointment.

These are the easiest holiday treat to make in large quantities and they offer a satisfying combination of salty and sweet. For these reasons I will now share with you the instructions for preparing them.

First you need a bag of small pretzels, red and green M&Ms, wax paper, and chocolate and/or white chocolate flavored bark. It has to be the chocolate BARK, so look carefully. Melt a few squares of bark in a glass cup or bowl in a microwave for increments of 15-30 seconds, but don't completely melt it, because it helps to have a little malleability to it. Spread pretzels on wax paper and spoon a small dollop of melty bark on each one. Stick an M&M on each and let cool.

Make pretty bags by wrapping one end of a small box in shiny wrapping paper. Slip the box out of the unwrapped end. Crease the sides of the "bag" and reinforce the seams with tape. Fill bag with chocolate pretzel treats, adorn with ribbon and deliver to friends. Feast on smiles.

I just love these little owls and each one has a different character to me. This one is kind of a spunky, little baby owl. He hasn't really learned the ropes yet, but the wiser ones I made previously will help him out. Hopefully there are many more owls to come because my friends seem to like them a lot.
To top our mini tannenbaum, Tobi wanted a starfish. I love Tobi's felty requests. Sometimes I unload my growing collection of craft supplies and I just stare at the rolling mountains of felt, misshapen balls of brightly hued raw wool, and tangled spools of string and yarn and become immobilized by the very lack of creative boundaries. Then Tobi swoops down on his frazzled heap of girlfriend and gives me a little project to tackle, and suddenly I have a vision, direction and a constant source of encouragement. Thanks, Tob.
Now stick with me here, people. My boy also wanted a little a Christmas tree alien, and like I said, I feel no less than compelled to oblige all of his Christmas crafty desires. Let's critique this photograph: It's too dark and a little blurry. Maybe one day I'll give a crap and post a better one.
Here she is: Olivia. Some of the gifts beneath her are even real.